30 Days of Creativity: Day 21 – Struggling With Feeling Good


And the count down is one for my 30 day finish line! Tee minus 9 days!

Today’s prompts:

  • What makes me happy right now is…
  • The happy that I need to insist upon right now is….
  • I maintain my happy by…
  • I will swim upward into my happiness by…

What makes me happy right now is spending time with others. Although I can appreciate a quiet moment by myself, life it better lived with friends. All of my best memories are shared with a multitude of people. Road trips, day trips, explorations, dinners, etc. The most recent memory that stands out is once again my trip to Spokane. As if this trip was meant to define Murphy’s Law, everything that could go wrong did. Hours of long layovers and minimal sleep, hotel rooms not ready, rain, transportation issues and the list goes on and on. In the moment, I wanted to pull my hair out and it took everything to hold myself together. But reflecting back on those trying situations, I always remember the big group of people I shared every trial with. I dwell on the nonstop games of Palace, ten of us crowding in one tiny hotel room to get ready to go, trekking through the rain, leading a prayer walk through the park and sharing the funniest meal I’ve ever had at an airport bar. Without these people, my trip would have been unbearable and I probably would have regretted every going. But, I don’t. I honestly wouldn’t have changed one thing.

The happy that I need to insist upon right now is everything is passing. Personally, it’s hard to sit back and watch everyone getting stronger at their aerial passions when I know my days of freedom are not in this moment. I have big girl job and traded in my early morning aerial classes and late night front desk shifts for this. Although it feels hopeless that I’ll ever have that free time to dedicate to my passion again, I know these current moments are fleeting. The happiness I focus on is what lies in my future. And my future is bright with opportunity to pursue everything God has laid on my heart.

I maintain my happy by surrounding myself with people who are planning for something better. People who embrace their current trials and never give up hope for their coming days. One candle in the darkness can easily be extinguished. But a flame in the blackness can burn forever.

I will swim upward into my happiness by finding the silver linings in my life now. By doing what I can with what I’ve been given. I may struggle with the urge to run as far away from the discomfort that’s occupying my current mood, but it’s temporary. Success isn’t created over night and there is not quick fix, magic wand to wipe away your suffering. I’m swimming towards happiness by dedicating myself to the present and what I need to do to create the future I want. I choose to live from one happy moment to another not one misery to the next.

“The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.” – John 1:5

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